Sex after 50 years old

Reading time: 8 minutes

Sexuality does not stop when children are born, oh no! Nor once you reach your forties. Or in your fifties, or sixties for that matter.

While it's normal that with hormonal shifts, the stress of working life, (or maybe even some monogamous monotony), sex is an important part of our adult life... of ALL of our adult life; it needs to be taken care of.

According to a 2014 Ifop study, on average, the French have sex once or twice a week. And according to a 2021 Ifop study, 35% of French women say they are dissatisfied with their sex life. 41% would even have had no sexual intercourse in the year.

When we know the benefits of sex, it's a shame!

The survey carried out on 7 403 people from 18 to 69 years old shows a variation after 50 years old. While the average weekly frequency of sex for men drops to 1.4, it drops considerably for women to 0.9.

Worse, 24% of men and 46% of women over 50 would report no longer having sex.

According to a national survey conducted by the University of Michigan in the United States among people aged 65 to 80, nearly three-quarters of them say they are sexually satisfied... So there is no lack of desire!

So who is to blame? Some factors on the female side:

- Don't think it's the fault of a few adorable extra pounds and three cute little wrinkles around the eyes! 47% of women feel that they are "not pretty enough" regardless of their age, and as the years go by, the way we look at ourselves can become increasingly harsh. Faced with this observation, it is difficult to feel desirable even though we are surely desired.

- Love also plays an important role. The more women are satisfied with their love life, the more they are satisfied with their sex life.

- The attention that one pays to the other is not to be neglected, either. Only 9% of women whose partner is very attentive to their pleasure deplore their sex life (they are 20% when he is fairly attentive). On the other hand, the proportion climbs to 64% for those whose partner is not very concerned about making them feel good.

- The distribution of household tasks also has a direct impact on the erotic life of French women. While only 12% of them do not appreciate their sexuality when the laundry and the dishes are taken care of in an equitable way, the figure climbs to 34% when women take care of them much more than their partner.

On the male side, the observation is similar...

To which can be added mechanical concerns. (Erectile dysfunction affects 41% of men during their lifetime), where it is easier to overcome vaginal dryness.

In general, the modern world that tends to desexualize seniors and put them out of the society does not help them to refocus on their desire, assume their desires, and reconnect with their libido. However, studies show that in women, orgasm at 60 is of better quality than at 40. In fact, women who have an active sex life at 60 are women who know themselves better, and it is by knowing themselves better and accepting their bodies that we improve sensations."

At 50, 60, 70 and over, we have more time to rediscover ourselves, to do things properly, gently...

Some practical advice:

- Learn to accept yourself as you are. Each wrinkle, each scar, marks the beautiful memories that have built you and the adult that you have built. You are yourself, and that's all that matters. Not to mention that age is just a number. The chronological age (linked to our date of birth) is not necessarily in adequacy with our biological age (that of our body) and our psychic feeling (the age in our head).

- Take your time and opt for soft positions to spare your joints. The missionary, of course, but also the andromache, the spoon, the elephant (a kind of doggy style but the woman is lying on her stomach), the reverse cowgirl (like the andromache but the woman turns her back) etc.

- Reconnect with your desire, with your desires, with your body... or explore new facets of your sexuality. Maybe it's time to bring toys into the bedroom? To try role-playing? To accept that the love you have for your partner is separate from the intimacy you might share with someone else? After all, who said that fidelity had to be based on the exclusivity of bodies?

- Don't be afraid or ashamed to use lube to deal with vaginal dryness. If it's easier, it's more pleasant for everyone, and it doesn't compromise your femininity. As we age, the vaginal walls become thinner and less supple, and this is often accompanied by dryness that can cause irritation and pain. This is completely natural. Using lubricant can even become an intimate game between partners.

- Boost your libido... Maybe you're just feeling a little sluggish? Like taking vitamin C in winter, opt for a special libido program to boost your desire for intimacy.

- Pallidize the small mechanical inconveniences... Program to stimulate the virility, the erection, or gels for the firmness of the erection for the clitoral pleasure, for the anal relaxation... Take a look at the catalog Labophyto. For 15 years, we have been proud to offer you solutions for all aspects of intimate well-being!